The Calm

Well…here I sit again in front of my computer in my bedroom on a rainy Austin night. I have the door to my deck open and I can hear the rain splashing the water just outside my room. The wind howling slightly is forcing the water to crash onto the shore sending relaxing vibes for all to hear. I love the peace I feel in this moment. The aloneness, the appreciation, and the calm.

If I sit back and look at my life through someone else’s eyes, I have it all. And I do. Healthy kids. A great job. A relationship not many have with their ex husband. I love my house and I do not want for anything, not a damn thing.  I have worked my entire life so at the ripe old age of 39 I no longer have to work. My looks are anything but fading. My personality sparkles. And I am still the clown you have all fallen in love with. So what would make me sit up from my Friday night Netflix shows and write again? Well life of course. life that stinky old bitch that loves to taunt us every now and then.  Life changes with the tides. Changes with a phone call, a text, or by hearing something whether good or bad. Sometimes things change or happen to you that you did not want to have happen. Since its my blog I will go over the list of things I did not want to have happen in my life.

 

I did not want a mom that does not love me. But I have one. I did not want my dad to die suddenly, but he did. I certainly did not want to have a baby at 17, but I had one of those as well. I didn’t want my marriage to fall apart. But it did. I didn’t want to get into recovery. But I needed to. I didn’t want him to fall in love with someone else, but he did. These are just a few of the things in life that happened and I feel was out of my control. But if you look at a few things that I did not want to have happen, you may question why I live a life I love. I will tell you; because I survived. I put one foot in front of the other without questioning it. Without asking why or why me. I just moved forward. I have a few things recently  I started to question, but stopped. I have survived so much in life that I know I can get through anything. And get through anything, I will.

Life will continue to throw curve balls, take you down, build you up, kick you in the face, and then send you to a good dr to repair the damage. In between the peaks and valleys of life all you need is a few good friends, a few good drinks, a track nearby and know that nothing lasts forever, both good and bad. Live, laugh, love, and keep moving forward because that is the only direction God has given us.