My Dear Boy,
It is no secret that on the day you were born I looked into your perfect brown eyes and apologized for being your mom. There are days even still I wonder if I was the best mom for you. If I have done enough for you. If I did everything I was supposed to do for you. Am I missing something? Did I not teach you something? Was I enough for you? I will always wonder that. I was always feel I could have done a better job for you. But I fought and clawed to provide you with everything I could give you. You didn’t always have everything you wanted, but you had the things you needed. It wasn’t always easy. There were tough days and then there were tougher days. But each time I struggled, I looked at those same brown eyes and unknowlingly you gave me what I needed so I could be the best mom I could be for you. I wasn’t perfect, but I did my best. I watched you grow. I sat with you while you struggled to read. I tucked you in each night with a story and a kiss for your stuffed cat. I placed a star on the potty chart each time you earned it. I watched and cheered you on as you kicked the soccer ball, got knocked over in football, and discovered the amazing lacrosse player you have grown into.
As you left elementary school, buzzed through middle school, and graduated high school, I stood by you each step of the way guiding you, lifting you up, and mostly begging you to do your homework. As you graced your high school graduation stage, I held your dads hand and we cried. You were the baby no one expected much from, not because of who you are but because of who your parents are. We were so proud of the kid that we had as teenagers as you graduated from high school. We had no idea who or what you would grow into, most of the time we held our breath hopping we were making the right decisions for you.
Tonight you are a thousand miles away from me sitting in a house on your college campus. Tonight I know you need me. Tonight I know you are a little homesick and you are a little scared. You are so close to becoming an adult and feeling as if your safety net is disappearing. I know how scary that feeling is. But I need you to remember who you are. Who your parents are. We are fighters and although you never had to fight the way we have, you have that in you. You are brave, strong, and tough. If you are anything like your parents and you are, you will be OK. If you ever feel as if you not enough or afraid, I need you to dig down deep inside and remember how much I love you and that I have moved mountains for you. You have the same ability. You are a fighter. You are amazing and you will never be alone.
At some point you will need to spread your wings and fly solo. You will need to take everything I have given you and taught you and put it all to use. I will not always be around for you to talk to or to fall back on, so I will continue guiding you down this road of life until I can’t any longer.
You are loved so very much and I would not be who I am today if you did not pick me as your mom. Thank you for picking me.
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think” Winnie the Pooh