New Year, More Improved Me, Not New.

As each New Year approaches, we all seem to evaluate the year that is about to be behind us and make plans for the new year. What we want to look like, our relationship status, new job, more money in the bank ect… We plot and as we twist our hands over and over in front of us, we plan out how we are going to dramatically change our lives. A year later, as we begin to do the same thing, we realize the plans we had made just a year ago failed to launched.  We look the same, for some we are still in an unhealthy relationship, and we never did progress with our job the way we intended. We feel as if we failed and we are more determined to make the next year the year of “ME”. This will be the year I get married. This will be the year I get that promotion. This will the year I look fantastic. The first few weeks in we are READY. Until we are not. Until we give up because the order to change was so tall and unrealistic.

This year, for me anyway, I am going out of 2016 with so many victories. I had a good year. Just like you did. But we forget the good because the bad is so bad. And the bad was awful. I had a lot of loss this past year. I cried rivers. I drank to forget. I fell down so much I forgot I had legs.  My heart was shattered all over the floor. But I also discovered new friends. I made amazing memories. I climbed mountains I thought were unreachable. Next year will be much of the same. I will cry. I will fall. I will fail. I will most likely have my heart hurt again. But I will also succeed. I have no idea if I will find love, get married or win the lottery. But I know I will live. I will laugh and I will survive. I know I will visit my son in college and cheer him on as he plays lacrosse. I know I will attempt to see my Godson play football in the Fall. I know I will be sitting in the stands as my youngest plays football. I know I will fight my demons, and continue to self discover. But most of all I know if any parts of my life need to change, they will change because of me and the actions I must take if I wasn’t any positive change to happen in my life. If I want a better job, I have to fight for it. Nothing will be handed to me. I know if I want my bank account to grow and my waist to slim, it is all on me to make these changes. The calendar date will do nothing but change itself, in the same way I will need to change myself.

For 2017 I will continue. To learn. Let go. Move on. Laugh more. Make amazing memories. Accept me for who I am. Make peace with the reflection in the mirror. I will continue to write, feel, express. I will continue to figure out my bank account. And I will continue to recover.

No more New Year, New Me. We don’t want a new you, we want you to Continue being who you are with changes only to better yourself, not change so people will like you. Change because you want to. Change to grow into a better version of you, not a new version of you.

2017 the year of living. Happy New Year!!!!! img_1417


3 thoughts on “New Year, More Improved Me, Not New.

  1. I just want to ask, half way through the year, do you feel like you’ve accomplished, or are on your way to accomplishing all that you set out for this year? Anything that you feel especially proud in going above and beyond your expectations?


    1. I didn’t have expectations. I think that is where a lot of people get jacked up..they put pressure on themselves unnecessarily…I love to write and I had something to write about. I was blessed with a toxic relationship that I could recover from and help others. I’m so proud of myself for my book deal. I never imagined someone would see that in me.

      Liked by 1 person

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